Some of us have developed personal mantras that have a powerful, albeit private meaning. These mantras can prove to be very useful in times of frustration, stress, or quite frankly, when we’re sick and tired of hearing another complaint. Sometimes we can fall into a trap and get…well…LOUD. That is easy for me to do.
LOUD IS NOT THE NEW SOFT
I’ve always found it curious that effective interpersonal skills are often called soft skills. Odd really, when you think about it. For those of us that have been exposed to extremely difficult leaders who consider an abrasive leadership style a strength, soft is about the last word that comes to mind. So, why when these moments are handled well does the term “soft” come in to play?
TIME TO GET LOW
One of the things I find fascinating when emotions are running high is the apparent correlation between the level of stress in a person and the tone of their voice. The more frantic they are, the higher the voice. This is where the first half of my mantra comes in to play – LOW. I need to maintain a low tone of voice. That is hard for me to do.
THE NEED FOR SPEED
A companion to the shrill that comes with emotionally charged exchanges is what appears to be a gene that triggers our rate of speech when we’re upset. The more intense the encounter, the faster we speak. As if getting our position out first means we win! Crazy, I know. Enter the second half of my little mantra – SLOW. I need to maintain a slow rate of speech. If you speak slowly, you-control-the-pace-of-the-conversation. That is hard for me to do too.
SOFT IS THE NEW LOUD
Sounds simple doesn’t it? For me, it has been a life long struggle to maintain Low and Slow. In these intense moments the hockey coach in me wants to come out; and, I allow myself on the inside to check the other person into the boards.
But on the outside, it HAS to be Low and Slow.
Always.
WHAT ABOUT YOU
How do you get through those moments when you would prefer to commit a felony rather than work through the real issues on the table? How do you keep yourself in check so you don’t lose the respect of those around you? What is your mantra?
I’d love to hear from you.
No Excuses.
Pics courtesy of onlineinvestingai.com and cdnbleacherreport.net
